The insights, conversations and behind-the-scene news of Heather Headley.

Our Loss; His Gain…My Week

posted on: Monday, April 15th, 2013

Heather_944_1The text from my husband simply said that she “collapsed, and they rushed her to the hospital.” It wasn’t looking good.  He said to pray! I was a few blocks from the apartment, still feeling the adrenaline and exhaustion from the show, but I felt a terrible feeling in my stomach and said a quick prayer. I immediately wrote back: “What happened?” No answer. “TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON!” No answer!  I walked through the door…and then he answered.  SHE, my healthy friend, the woman I go to with my questions, the doting mother of four, the beautiful wife, my “Elizabeth” as I call her, was dead.


I broke.

I am broken.


It wasn’t easy being away in London while the world at home was upside down, but my dear cast mates and my dressing team surrounded me, and helped me through a few shows that would prove difficult…but cathartic!

I’m not sure how to handle it all; I really don’t understand why God allows certain things to happen. Why does a woman filled with life, collapse and die? Die…leaving four precious babies without a mommy, and a husband without his soul mate and heartbeat? Trust me, I have questions, but she would tell me that it was part of God’s plan.  She would say that even in my confusion, I should trust Him and not myself or the unbelievable circumstance.


So, now, I’m on the plane heading back to London after the 48-hour weekend whirlwind.  We have to restart life…and without her here.  Over the past weekend, I had some beautiful moments, and yet some incredibly sad ones. I couldn’t imagine that I’d see my sweet friend laying in a casket…with her precious babies running in and out of the room to comfort their amazing daddy, and sneak another peek at their beautiful mommy. The sadness was indescribable. It IS indescribable.  But I had to smile as I watched as hundreds of people wait in line for hours at the visitation and service, all for a chance to join in the chorus of the song we were all singing: “She was an incredible woman. She loved God. She changed my life. She prayed for me. She loved her family. She served her community.” I’m not sure she even knew how many lives she touched.  Yep! That’s my girl, and I am so proud of her!

Somehow, we’ll all get through the coming months and years, and at some point we’ll all cry a little less.  She taught us so much…and in death, she’s teaching me even more. She stamped her household, her friends and her community with the love of God. I’m spurred on to do the same. I am so blessed that I was loved by her. I am honored that she called me a friend. I could not have asked for a better “Elizabeth.”


Sing with the angels sweet girl; I know you are singing so loudly in that choir:-).

We are going to miss you terribly. I already do…but we will all be better because of you.

…And don’t worry – – we’ll look after them.

We thank God for you.

I love you.


Your Mary,


5 responses to “Our Loss; His Gain…My Week”

  1. Tropic Bob says:

    Godspeed to your extended family and community, Heather. Those individuals that touch other lives learn not to fear death, rather they fear not living the life they were meant to live! Your friend sounds like she embraced life and through her spirit changed others for the better. Comfort in the thought that her spirit and love is never far away from your own. You were lucky to have such a friend.
    Peace and love,

  2. Shelley B. says:

    I am sorry to hear about your loss. You wrote an eloquent and inspirational post. My husband and I will be praying for you and for your friend’s family.

  3. Tekia says:

    Oh my word! Dealing with a loss is a weighty issue. The automatic response is to wonder “why?” and “how?” especially for those who are healthy. We live in a society where health is becoming a more common talking point. Yet we hear these stories of perfectly healthy people dying, often times suddenly. We don’t always know the reason why things happen, but there is always a reason, even with such sad situations as this one. Your friend is right. No matter the situation, we must always trust God and trust His wisdom even if we don’t always understand it. Peace, comfort, healing, and blessing be to you, your family, to her family and those she touched.

  4. Katie McGowan says:

    Hello Heather. Your beautiful voice both broke my heart and comforted me as I cried at our dear friend’s memorial service. Thank you for sharing the gift of your singing with all of us, just as Heidi always shared her gifts of love and friendship. I know Heidi’s beaming smile is lighting up Heaven.

  5. Eddie D says:

    DARN YOU for making me cry twice in a matter of days. Beautifully said for a beautiful lady. Heidi’s service, and her short time on earth, changed lives. Thank you for being part of that.

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